"There are no ugly women in the world. Just lazy women."

Some time last week I was watching an excellent K-drama called "Dream High". It's about a group of kids going to a special arts school in Korea and hoping to make their debut. There's a boy that's a bit of a rebel who likes the stone faced, sometimes mean girl who has good intentions. She likes him as well, but there is the boy from the country that has become her best friend who also likes her. There's a good girl turned into a bitch who used to be friends with the stone faced girl and a boy who is good at everything he does. And he happens to start falling for the fat girl. The fat girl has a beautiful voice and real talent playing guitar. And she is in love with the boy who is good at everything.

So by now you're probably wondering why I'm rambling about a Korean TV show. And I don't blame you, because I do kinda fangirl over it. But there is a point. The fat girl confronts the boy she loves, saying that if he can't return her feelings now, maybe if she lost weight, they should try again. So in 200 days, they would speak again after she lost all of her weight. He agrees and she goes and seeks out a teacher who says something that hits very close to home.

"There are no ugly women in the world. Just lazy woman."

 I literally had to pause the video, because it hit me so hard. I reread the subtitles probably five times before grabbing a pen and paper and immediately writing the quote down. To me, it makes a lot of sense. And I've had people already say they disagree with the statement because "there are some really ugly women out there". I didn't argue the statement at the time, because I don't think the people who said something like that would have their mind changed so easily. But I do have a stand on this and truly believe this statement.

This statement can be looked at from two different angles. A physical attraction side, in which I suffer, and a mental attraction side, that I think most women suffer from some point in their life. Some may say laziness is too harsh of a word, but if you aren't giving all of your effort... you're being lazy aren't you? I feel I realized this too late, but I guess late is better than never.

Oh the physical side of things, this relates to women who don't care about their appearance. They let themselves go. They gain weight. They don't wear makeup or do their hair. They let themselves become what America has turned into... and I'm definitely guilty of it. I'm sure many believe they have no one to impress, or there is not enough time in the day. But if we put time aside and make it important, it becomes a priority. I'm attempting to fix myself now. Since I met my husband, I have gained 70lbs. That's pretty far gone, but I'm hoping with a positive outlook and some support, I can remedy this. I'm trying little by little each day. I take time to do my hair and put on makeup. I got a gym membership and for the first time in four months, I went and worked out. I'm sore, but I'm the happiest I've felt in a while. I'm hoping to change my life and my outlook on it.

On the mental side, it's about having confidence. Now this may bleed into the physical aspect, because if you can't be happy with who you are, how can you be confident in who you are? But it's about being confident in who you are. Confidence can radiate off a woman and change how people look at her. Posture, a smile, and being able to be flirty and friendly can really make a difference.

Now by not being able to do these things make you lazy. No, not necessarily. I realize there are mental issues, disabilities, and illnesses that can hurt the ability to lose weight or feel confident. but what it boils down to is not being lazy and trying. Who says you can't do something? You know yourself the best, so only you can push yourself.

And this is the lesson the fat girl ended up learning. On day 200, she couldn't bring herself to mark the day, because in the end, she learned that she had to lose the weight for herself and not for some boy. She marked the days with a milk cap. Instead of sticking milk cap 200 to her calender, she holds onto it to remind herself of the sacrifice and challenge she made for herself. It's not to say she doesn't still love the boy, but she has the confidence to tell him that she didn't do it for hm any more and if he wants a chance with her, he has to work hard too. I haven't finished the series yet, but they are still waltzing around each other.

So, like the fat girl, I am attempting to make the effort to better myself. I have goals I want to meet. I want to get pregnant without worrying about complications for myself of my child because I was lazy. But I realize my time is limited. I need to fix this now and not wait until tomorrow. Here marks day one. Wish me luck.